I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
