Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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