just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
