I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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