Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
