It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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