Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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