so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
