Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
