I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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