his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize