Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
