the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How does one acquire holy water?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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