It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
