i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
organizing the empties. That sober.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
