I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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