Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
