the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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