I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
