So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
