We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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