no, he came in my armpit
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
