I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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