I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
