Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
