My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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