Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
