she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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