i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Pooping to opera.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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