Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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