we're blogging at a bar
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
