if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
