His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
