I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
