the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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