Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
