OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I would fuck him just for his dog
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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