Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
