Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you're hired as official boob wrangler
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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