Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
