So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
