actually, I'm a sock model
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
