I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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