check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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