that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
