Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
