White coat. Heels.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
