You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
