One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
