whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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