I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
