i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
