What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
