We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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