this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
