Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
