Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
