does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
