if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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